Welcome to our Mumma Musing Series… here we speak with and celebrate the Mother’s who inspire us. The first Mumma off the rank is Ness Scharkie, the beauty behind The Nesst and Mumma to little man Olsen. Here's a little peek into her life...
Tell us a little about you, your family and your journey into Motherhood...
My name is Ness Scharkie. I’m 32 years old, Wife to Luke, Mama to Olsen + we have a crazy little Frenchie called Jetson. We live on the Gold Coast + are a cafe hopping, road tripping (not much of that this year though haha) family. I am a Florist but since Covid, I’ve also started doing Social Media Managing. My journey into motherhood was a bit of surprise. I was getting quite sick being on the contraceptive pill + had been off it for a good two years. We knew there was a chance getting pregnant could happen but when it actually did, we both just kind of laughed + immediately our freaked out overwhelm turned too so much excitement. We kept it to just ourselves until 8 weeks when we told our best friends + family.
The pregnancy was definitely not as wild compared to other mamas. Personally, I did have nausea for the first + part of the second trimester. but my pregnancy insomnia was probably the most horrible part for me. We did Hypnobirthing with Meaghan Amor + absolutely loved that. We felt so prepared + ready for any path birth may go down. Our birth was roughly 43 hours + the last 12 or so hours were pretty full on but I am SOOOO proud of how Luke, our beautiful student midwife Emilia + the hospital midwives kept our space / wishes front + centre. It could have been traumatic but because of them, I will always be grateful.
When our little angel boy was finally in my arms. I knew life itself had completely changed. He’s eyes staring at me will forever live with me.
What does Motherhood mean to you?
The one word that pops into focus is LOVE. As cliche as it sounds Olsen was made in love.. so when I look at him, I feel love towards not only him but to parenting full stop. For us, we want to guide him sensibly through life but without a straight jacket. Letting him be his own person with his own personality.
To speak on the flip side, Motherhood certainly for me has come with its own set of sacrifices but the delicate rollercoaster of the beautiful highs + overwhelming challenges is all worth it. 100%.
Motherhood is no easy feat. Who do you look to for inspiration, motivation and advice?
When you become a mum, you are instantaneously welcomed into a motherhood sisterhood! So, for me it is from those who have mothered before me. Whether, they are close to me or those on social media who keep it real! Podcasts are always a win too!
What part of becoming a Mother did you find the most challenging and unexpected?
I had insomnia for 2/3 of our pregnancy + kept saying “I am going to be sooooooo ready for when the baby comes” but oh boy was I wrong. After we birthed, I was taken to the ward but the hospital we birthed at meant Luke couldn’t sleep there. So, I went straight from birth to ‘holy heck, how do I do this thing called parenting? how do I breastfeed?’. When Luke left around 2am Olsen screamed + screamed, quite the introduction into newborn life. Three days of no sleep whatsoever mixed with my milk not coming in until day six (cue hungry baby cries) was just the beginning because Olsen quite literally didn't sleep for more than an hour in a row until he was around 5 weeks old + we decided to start sleep training! I was definitely not prepared for the sleep deprivation mixed with the physical toll after birth. I look back now + know that I was not dealing mentally. I had put a lot of pressure / expectations on my self + in the nature of being honest, I feel really sad that I didn't soak my boy up more during those initials months. But, I am just so bloody grateful for Luke for being the most incredible support for us along with my close family + friends during that period. Do you know what, Hypnobirthing prepared me for birth but I needed a course for after birth haha! Seriously.
What part of Motherhood brings you the most joy and happiness?
His cuddles quite literally give me the warmest glow! Seeing him healthy + happy brings be happiness while seeing him flourish + giggle bring me so much joy. There is no greater feeling than seeing his face first thing in the morning + kissing him goodnight. When it comes to me personally as a mama, when we birthed him, I knew I had transformed on another level as human. I love that he is teaching me so much more than I could ever imagine. Opening up parts that I never knew I had + challenging me to be better in other facets.
How do you juggle work, life and family?
If I can be completely frank, the last few weeks I feel like its' been a complete shit show haha. For the most part though, I just try not to put too much pressure on myself anymore. I definitely did for the first 6 or so months but have slowly learnt this was not conducive for my brain space.
I have learnt to say no more too. One of the hardest things to master but it takes a weight off when you do. In essence, do what you can, see who you can when those precious free moments pop up + when it comes to work, communication with my husband + the grandparents to what is happening when I/we need help is what keeps me grounded amongst the juggling act.
Do you have a Bubba Cloud and what do you love most about it?
Yes! Some of my beautiful friends gifted us the Sand Bubba Cloud + we just loved it from the moment go. Truly my saviour on many occasions. But what I have also adored about it, is that even now he sits in it while watching TV! Or uses it as a pillow! Way more longevity than I expected. I’ve recommend Bubba Cloud to every mama friend of mine. We couldn’t speak higher of them.
If you could give one piece of advice to a new/expecting Mother, what would it be?
When someone gives you advice. Take only what you need + leave the rest. Only you truly know what is best for your baby + family.